Live and Let Live
by Tarranon
Summary: Ashitaka narrates an interesting turn of events that happened to him not too long ago. Thank you for your reviews. Expect updates once every week at the least, unless I have some free time, which means there'll be updates sooner.
1. Live and Let Live

     Isn't it interesting how, when you look back at things long past, you start to think about the thin strings you were walking on? Those steps, the tiniest of which would lead to certain disaster, that led you to where you are today? That's what I think about sometimes, especially lately. Here I am, with the most breathtaking person in the whole world standing by me, and I wake up at night in cold sweats because of dreams I have- dreams where she's not there anymore; horrible dreams that make me want to burst into tears. Dreams that make me want to fly into the forest to make sure she's still there…to caress her soft cheek while she sleeps, and tell myself that it was only my imagination. Perhaps it is, but something like that almost did happen, not too long ago. Let me tell you what happened…

     That day started out just like any other spring day. The sky was laced with silky white clouds, and the birds chirped merrily. On the sprawling meadow, you could see the vague outline of the brown deer peacefully chewing on the soft green grass.  

     As for myself, I was on my way into the town when one of the villagers (I can't remember her name exactly, although I know I've seen her many times before) matched pace with me and began talking. 

     "Young boy, I here this summer's going to be a scorcher! What do you plan to do about it?"

     I shrugged my shoulders absent-mindedly. Indeed, certain indications gave proof to support her claims that the summer would be hot. One of the hottest summers since the time I've spent away from my tribe. In preparation, I had purchased dry seed that would do well in the harsh climate, so I wasn't exactly sure what the woman was getting at. 

     "I've already bought everything I need, if that's what you mean," I informed her. 

     But the woman shook her head. "I wasn't referring to your financial safety! I mean about your friend, the elk. You wouldn't happen to have a decent stable for him? Something to protect him from direct sunlight?"

     I wrinkled my eyebrows slightly and thought a moment before saying: "Yakuruu? I do have a shelter for him. It's not very professional, though, my skills in carpentry are somewhat lacking."

     The woman smiled broadly, displaying an astonishingly white set of teeth. "Good! I don't suppose you'd mind letting my husband tend to him?"

     I narrowed my eyes in thought. "So, you're the stableman's wife? I knew I had recognized you from somewhere! Why do you ask, though? Is business not good?"

     "Things could be better," she admitted reluctantly while brushing a small beetle off of her shoulder. "They're better than they used to be, that's for sure! I'm just helping my husband, uh…advertise!"

     "Well," I acceded, "you do make a good point. I built it, yes, albeit under duress. I wouldn't really trust it in extreme weather…how much would it cost?"

     The woman's eyes lit up excitedly. "Oh, hardly anything at all, young lad, nothing at all! All we need are two ounces of gold a week and your services!"

     "Wait a minute," I interjected. "I have to work for you, too?"

     The woman dismissed my comment with a snorting sound. "Don't worry, boy, it's not what you think, trust me. I'll tell you what, why don't you bring over Yakuruu and see if you like the place!"

     Smiling somewhat nervously, I accepted the woman's offer. After energetically shaking my hand, she scampered off into the crowd of people to find more customers, I presumed.

     _At the time, I realized that there must have been some catch. With hard weather coming up, putting up animals would be very costly, and two ounces of gold a week hardly seemed enough. That meant that the woman was relying solely on the work I would do, if I, indeed, decided to stable Yakuruu there. All I could think about for the rest of that day was what it could possibly be. _

     I arrived at the stables later that evening, just as the orange sun began setting in the sky. There was a slight drop in temperature and the wind blew, so I had put on my long shirt to keep warm. 

     To my surprise (or was it dismay?), the same woman from this morning ran out to greet me. Obviously she had been anticipating my arrival for some time. After greeting her properly, she asked me to wait a moment.

     Before she left, I queried: "I'm sorry, I do not remember your name. Could you please tell it to me again?"

     The woman smiled. "It's no bother. My name is Hitori. Yours is Ashitaka, no?"

     "That's correct," I nodded.

     "Well, if you'll please excuse me. I still have to make supper for my husband. I'll send someone out to show you around."

     I bowed lowly as she left and passed the time by looking at the various utensils that littered the ground around the house. Forks, vices, grips, saddles, leather straps, and iron shoes- everything looked as though a strong wind had blown through. More than likely, everything I saw there was just leftovers. The used equipment was probably in the stable. 

     Hearing the creak of a door, I glanced up to behold a small boy dancing down the stairs, his long hair swaying to match his erratic movements. When he approached me, he gave a quick bow and immediately grabbed my hand. 

     "Come on!" he said excitedly. "You'll like it! I help daddy with the animals!"

     "Is that so?" I asked. 

     "Yeah!" he responded. "I pet them and sometimes he even lets me brush them!"

     "Wow, sounds like a rough job," I said humorously.

     "No, not really."

     "What's your name, little one?" I asked as he let go of my hand.

     He quickly turned to face me. "I'm not little!" he protested. "I'm this many!" He held up his hand with some of his fingers, five upon closer inspection, raised into the air. "My name is Kato!"

     "Well, Kato, it looks like you're growing up pretty fast."

     The boy beamed and stood up a little straighter. He approached the large entryway to the stable and pushed one of the two doors open. 

     Immediately, my nostrils were bombarded with the familiar scent of…well, animals. It wasn't overbearing, though, and it even added a warm, cozy feeling. I half listened to Kato as he talked about the 'aminals', instead focusing on the stable, itself. I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was kept perfectly clean. My earlier premonition about the used tools being here were correct, for dozens of appliances decorated the walls of the building. The animals looked like they were fed regularly, and fresh water were in each of their stalls. To summarize: I liked the place considerably. Yakuruu would certainly feel the same way.

     "Hey!" Kato said, pulling on my sleeve, "Are you listening?" 

     I looked down at him. "Yes, I heard you. Your family keeps a fine shelter, Kato. As a matter of fact, I think I'll let your father take care of my ride as well."

     "Really?" he said, his eyes lighting up. "I'm gonna go tell Mom!"

     I smiled as he ran away at a feverish pace. 

     Incredible. The child was so cheerful, bright, and full of energy. Almost like myself when I was young. Seeing a youthful one such as this renewed my passion for children. For the longest time, I've desired to have one of my own, to love and to see grow up- a daughter to hold in my arms, or a son to go hunting and wrestle with. Perhaps one day my dream of starting a family would come true, but for now, I was content to be around other people's children, rare as the occasion was. 

     I exited the stable, closing the door behind me. Night had fallen, but the lights of the city illuminated the darkness, making it almost as bright as it was in the daytime. Kato and Hitori were already waiting for me on the steps of their home.

     "My son tells me you like our little establishment!" Hitori said. 

     "Yes, that's true," I replied. "I'll bring Yakuruu over by the end of this week. So tell me, what is this job you require of me?"

     "Well, it's not really a job, I suppose," she revealed. "It's more like a favor. You see, my husbands leg was ruined fighting in the late war."

     "I'm sorry," I consoled, bowing slowly.

     She waved it away. "It's no matter. What's done is done. Anyway, the leg is useless, so he hobbles around with a stick. Stable work is hard, but he manages to get by. Our problem, then, is that we need a fence. The last one was destroyed when the boars came. It doesn't have to be a big fence mind you, but one big enough to let the animals out for some exercise. Unfortunately, something like that would be impossible for my husband to do in his condition, so I was hoping that maybe you wouldn't mind helping us out?"

     I opened my mouth to speak, but she kept going before I had a chance to say anything. 

     "I realize that it's hard work, and we'll make it worth your while. For as long as you're here, you can have meals (when the rest of the family eats, of course) and maybe we'll cut the price down on the stabling, too, eh? What do you think?"

     I tried to think quickly. A fence was a big task, and I still had farming to do. Of course, I couldn't just say no to someone in need of assistance. Still, the notion of her cutting her already ridiculous price even more sounded odd. Perhaps she did have an ulterior motive, but until I figured out what it was, it seemed only appropriate that I help her. 

     "All right, I'll do it," I said. "When do you want me to start?"

     The woman was grinning from ear to ear. "Oh, whenever you want, Ashitaka! There's no hurry! Well, don't wait too long, but whenever you think you're ready!"

     The necessary arrangements were made, and I left that place very confused, but excited. My fingers were itching to get to work, and now it seemed that I would be busy for the next few weeks. I would have to tell San the good news if I saw her again. 

     Come to think of it, I haven't really seen her lately. I wonder what she's up to? I decided to go and see her sometime tomorrow afternoon. She usually was out hunting with her brothers any time before that. 

_     Unfortunately, I shouldn't have gone to see her at all. Although I didn't know it at the time, Fate had a devious little trick she was about to play on me. I wished she would've picked on somebody else besides my loved ones, but then, that's what makes life interesting, isn't it?  _


	2. Visiting San

     That evening, I eventually found myself in the large market in the center of the town, where the villagers were selling their goods. Being that I had no garden of my own yet, I frequently visited the square to purchase certain vegetables (not as much for my sake, but for San's, as she rarely had the occasion to eat anything other than meat). And so I slowly made my way through the crowd of people to a vendor that sold excellent culinary items. Her name was Naru. It must have been that she enjoyed the experience of simply being around people, for she practically gave her vegetables away. This was what originally brought me to her stand, but as I grew to know her, I began paying her what the other vendors usually charged.

     Of course, she recognized me as I approached, and she grinned. I waved to her, and she waved back.   

     "How are you, Ashitaka, on this fine evening?" she asked.

     "Very well, thank you!" I replied. "Just the usual, please," I added, pulling out my purse.

     "All right!" she piped, gathering the items I always requested when I came. "You seem unusually jovial tonight! Did something happen?"

     I couldn't help but smile. She was always a very observant person. "Well, I just got a job for madam Hitori. She wants me to build a fence for her pasture."

     Naru froze. "Did you say Hitori?"

     "Yes…" I said, somewhat puzzled. "Do you know her?"

     Naru nodded quickly as she continued wrapping my goods. "She's my mother," she said quickly, blushing slightly.

     "Is that so?" I commented. "You must get your energetic streak from her."

     "My father always said that!" Naru laughed. "Well, here you go," she said, pushing the bundle toward me. 

     I removed two gold coins from my pouch before returning it to its place on my belt. I then handed her the shining pieces. "Thank you very much," I said. "If I'm in town sometime, I'll be sure and stop by to say hello!"

     Naru blushed again. "That would be nice," she said softly.

     I froze for a moment, but then I smiled and waved good-bye. Something in the way she said that sounded almost…hopeful. 

     Certain ideas began forming in my mind, but I quickly dismissed them as impossible. Besides, if her mother were that desperate, surely she would confront me directly about her daughter unless her daughter was too shy to confront me herself? 

     Naru and I were very good friends. I'd known her for a long while, and almost every time I went into town, we'd see each other, and of course I'd have to stop and say hello. It wouldn't come as a surprise for me if she had feelings for me, and, quite frankly, the truth of the matter was that I had feelings for her, too. She was a very kind and gentle person, and I admired and respected her, but my heart rested with San. Of course, I only saw San occasionally nowadays…the desire to go to her burned within me so brightly that, at times, I could swear I saw her shadow darting through the meadow, running towards me. It was always my imagination, though. Sometimes I had to ask myself if she even felt the same way about me as I did about her. I loved her very deeply, but had never told her so. Neither had she told me anything of the sort. 

     Surely what we had gone through meant something to her? Whenever I did see her, we would go for walks in the forest and talk, and she would smile and laugh, and I would stare at her the whole time, mesmerized by the person I wanted to share my life with. I would look into her big, blue, perfect eyes and find myself unaware of my surroundings. And when she noticed me staring at her, she would always smile and lower her head, blushing slightly. She always tried to hide her emotions, but that only made her more beautiful to me. 

     I had been thinking so much that I was slightly surprised to find myself at my home, already lighting a lamp so I could sit down and eat. Musing over the absurdity of the entire situation (me, a banished prince falling in love with the goddess of the forest) left me feeling even more alone than I had before. I firmly resolved that the first thing I would do tomorrow morning would be to go and see San. 

     _I still remember that night very clearly. I had had a dream that would haunt my thoughts and plague my memory for many days to come. I had dreamed that San and I were walking through the forest like usual, but this time, it was a little different. Her tone- her atmosphere had changed. When she looked at me, it felt like she was actually studying me. I was overcome with the urge to wrap her in my arms, and I did so. She stared at me, gazing into my eyes, and because it was my own dream, I knew what she was thinking. Wolves had raised her, so of course she wouldn't know how to react. The last time I had hugged her, she had not reacted. She looked like she enjoyed it, though. I bent my face closer to hers and, of course, she only stared straight back at me, completely unaware. I tried to shift my body closer, but it wouldn't move. A bit upset, I tried harder, but the more I struggled, the less I felt like I could move. _

_     A panic gripped me. Desperately, I tried to move my legs, but they would not cooperate. _

With a sudden and violent shake, I snapped awake. My legs had gotten tangled in the cloth I used to cover myself when I slept. Chuckling softly, I couldn't help but curse the unluckiness of what had just happened. 

     Glancing out the small window of my home, I saw that the sun had begun to rise. It was time go wake up, anyway.

     Sitting up, I yawned loudly. Thinking back to my old village and when I was betrothed to Kaiya, we would often find ourselves sleeping under a tree or in a meadow together, and whenever I woke up and yawned, she would wake up and pretend to be mad at me. Of course, the first thing I did every morning since my departure had been to pray for her safety and happiness. Hopefully my prayers had been answered, but I still persisted…just in case. 

     I stood up from the bed and headed for the door. Standing by it and watching to make sure no one was around, I quickly ran out to the lake with a bucket, scooped up some water and ran back into my cabin. After I washed myself, I reached for a piece of salted lamb, which I had prepared the night before. I chewed on this silently while I dressed into a freshly washed outfit that consisted of a long, slightly oversized brown tunic. The pants were a deeper brown and matched my shirt. Swallowing the last of my breakfast, I rinsed my mouth out with the remaining water. 

     Outside, the morning dew sat heavily on the grass. I walked over to my makeshift stable where I kept Yakuruu when he wasn't grazing. Fear of him running away had never been an issue, so all the small house consisted of was a roof, three walls, a place for food and water, and nails to hand the saddle and reigns on. 

     "Yakuruu?" I called softly. 

     A soft snorting sound came from inside, and Yakuruu quickly came out and nuzzled my outstretched hand.   
     "Are you read to go see San?" I asked as I led him back into the stable to prepare him.

     For the most part, he gave no sign that he understood me, but he seemed anxious to simply get out. 

     After I grabbed the assortment of greenery, I mounted Yakuruu and we traveled to the edge of the forest. The familiar scent of oak and pine flooded the air. The leaves blotted out most of the sunlight, giving the woods a somewhat dim, but not eerie, look. The cool morning air made the journey very pleasant, and I couldn't help but glance at my surroundings, even though I had been this way many times. 

     As we drew nearer to the large pool where the old Forest Spirit lived, I dismounted Yakuruu and led him. I had no desire to ride an animal through these sacred grounds. Walking quickly yet reverently, we passed the pool, and I was once again on Yakuruu's back. 

     The woods took on a decidedly quieter tone as we approached the wolves' domain. There were fewer birds, and no more animals skittered along the forest floor. No doubt, if they were anywhere in the vicinity, they wouldn't smelled us coming. Usually San was with them when they came running towards us at a furious pace. Of course, there was that one time where she hadn't been with them…they would never hurt me physically, but whenever San was around, they would never say things like that had said that time. It would almost have been funny, if the threats and expletives hadn't been coming from two enormous white wolves. Deep down, though, I think they liked me and they just didn't want to show it. Another time, when San _was _with me, we romped through the woods together, trying to play hide and seek, the wolves verses San and me. Luckily for me, San's sense of smell was almost as keen as the wolves', so the teams were almost even. I could tell the wolves thoroughly enjoyed the game, and afterwards we all sat next to a large river where San and I obliged them by scratching behind their ears for about fifteen minutes or so. 

     A heavy breathing and a soft thudding sound jarred me out of my thoughts. Glancing up, I saw one of San's brothers approaching. San, herself, was nowhere in sight. 

     _At least there's only one of them_, I thought to myself, mentally bracing for the verbal onslaught I was sure would come. 

     I was pleasantly surprised when he ran up to sniff my outstretched hand without assault of any kind. I wondered if I'd ever figure out why they did that every single time I came. Maybe it was just a custom of some sort. 

     "Prince boy," he said quickly, trying to sound somewhat respectful but doing a poor job of it. "San is with my brother hunting. I remained because whenever you come, you come around this time. I've been instructed to see you to our cave although I really see no point in it since you know where it is a-" he stopped suddenly. 

     I waited patiently for him to finish.

     Narrowing his eyes at me, he spoke again, this time more severely. "She instructed me to be nice to you, and I've tried, but since she's not here, I really don't give a shit. Just go to the cave, I've already missed most of the hunt because of you."  
     "I'm very sorry," I said, bowing amiably. "You should tell her if you don't like her giving you orders."

     The wolf snorted. "She is our clan leader now that my mother is dead. I will follow her orders…her orders that regard the forest. As far as respect for humans is concerned, well, I tried, and that's all that matters." He turned quickly and disappeared, probably hurrying after his brother and San.   
     Grinning after him, I urged Yakuruu onwards. In a few minutes we arrived at the large gully that led to the top of a tall ledge where they lodged. 

     "Well, Yakuruu," I said, jumping off of him. I removed the bit and bridle from his face. "Why don't you go and graze? Make more forest friends, eh?"

     Yakuruu shook his head and slowly edged away from me. When he felt certain I would not disappear or leave him, he trotted off.

     Staring up at the tall cliff, I slowly began making my way up the rocks that littered the wall. Once at the top, I situated myself on the lip of the cave that stretched out. This early in the morning, I had to wonder what time San would be back. For normal humans, a hunt could take as long as a day, or even two. Hopefully she wouldn't be that long.

     I didn't have much to stay busy, so I walked back into the shade a laid down and closed my eyes. When I awoke, the sun had moved a little bit higher into the sky. Peering over the edge, I could see the two wolf brothers, one of them bearing San on his back, making their way up to the cave. 

     Jumping up, I awaited their arrival. 

     The first wolf came with a large animal of some sort in his mouth. He hurried past me towards the back of the cave where he began to devour his portion of the meal. The wolf that bore San came up next. 

     And there she was, the love of my life. Her ceremonial spear was in hand, and she wore her mask. Since she had been hunting, she had removed her earrings and necklace, but I could tell that she still wore her headband. 

     Hopping off of her brother, the wolf then made his way to the back of the cave, too. 

     I smiled at San and waved. "Hello! I missed you!" I said.

     She removed her mask, and underneath she was smiling, too.

     She leaned forward suddenly, and then stopped, hesitating. I wrinkled my eyebrows at her. Then, abruptly she walked up to me, grabbed my head, and jammed her mouth against mine. 

     I was so startled I didn't know what to do! My arms were out to the side in a semi-defensive posture. Glancing down, I could see her eyes were open, and she was just staring at me. Her mouth remained set, unmoving as if she had simply pressed her face against mine. 

     Almost as quickly as when she did it, she backed away, blushing slightly.

     When I only stared at her, wide eyed, her face turned a deeper hue, and she looked away. "Did I do something wrong?" she asked quietly, grinning slightly.

     "No, no!" I hurriedly assured her, trying to determine what in the world had possessed her to do that. "You didn't do anything wrong, far from it! Just…well, why?"

     She pointed to the back of the cave at her brothers. "They told me it was how humans said hello." 

     Slowly, I turned around and gazed at the two wolves, who were now looking at me.  

     San continued: "They told me I probably wouldn't do it right, and that you would teach me how to do it properly one day."

     Without looking back, my eyes widened, horrified. Was it just my imagination, or were the two wolves grinning at me? Those dirty little…

     Coming up beside me, San stared at them for a moment. Glancing to her side, she looked up at me, smiling brightly. 

     Completely flattered by her actions and charmed by her naïveté, I smiled back. 

     "I don't think I did it right, though," she said, turning to look back at her brothers, who were shaking their heads. "Will you teach me?"

     Now I was sure the two wolves were grinning at me. "Not right now, San," I said, looking at her. "I think they didn't mention a few things to you. I'll fill you in on the details later."

     San pursed her lips together. "Okay!" she peeped. She was obviously as excited to see me, as I was to see her. 

     "Would you like to go for a walk?" I suggested. "I brought some things for you."

     "Really?" San gasped. "Another gift!? Ashitaka, you're the greatest!"

     Fortunately, her brothers had only told her that kissing was a greeting, so she didn't do that. She didn't really know about hugging, so she couldn't do that, either. All she could do to show her gratitude and excitement was hold my hands and jump up and down. She then raced for the mouth of the cave and jumped down. 

     Glancing back at the wolves, I quickly drew my finger across my throat in a mock-threatening gesture. I was taking a chance in doing that, but surely they would know I was just joking. 

     They seemed to enjoy my disconcerting situation, and they rolled over onto their backs, looking at me upside down. 

     I bowed and quickly followed after San.

     _Thankfully, the first part of the day had gone well. If it hadn't been for that, I don't think everything would've turned out the way it did. As a matter of fact, things might have turned out extremely badly. As the day progressed, however, the mood shifted as certain events led up to a crescendo that would come crashing down in a cacophony of accusations, fear, anger, aggression, and desperation. _


End file.
